... Define Always.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4 

"Wow.  Always?  Paul, are you sure you mean always?"  These words, whether I like it or not, are usually the first words that come barreling into my brain when I read this verse.  What on earth does Paul mean by rejoicing always!?!  Is this even possible?  Yes.  But not in the way I usually imagine. When I think of rejoicing always I generally picture myself putting my nose to the grindstone and forcing one more smile when I don't feel like it.  But how can this be what God desires of us when he also asks us to live lives of honesty?  In the past few months, I feel that the Lord has been teaching me what it means to rejoice in Him always.  Needless to say it has not come "naturally."

In all honesty, I have found it rather difficult this summer to rejoice in much of anything.  It's not even that I have had a particularly hard summer (my friends' plex floor saw more tears my freshman year of college that I have shed this summer).  And I have been blessed with many wonderful experiences at work and at home.  However, in the middle of summer, three jobs, and fundraising it's just simply not on my list of "To do's" to remember to shout joyfully to the Lord.  Yet, it seemed that this is the action God has been calling me to throughout the past few months. 

Recently I have been reading a book called Trusting God by Jerry Bridges.  In it the author makes the observation that the life that God calls us to, is one of constant self-improvement to become more like Christ.  Bridges writes:   “We can be sure that the development of a beautiful Christlike character will not occur in our lives without adversity.  Think of those lovely graces that Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.  The first four traits he mentions—love, joy, peace, patience—can only be developed in the womb of adversity.” (Bridges 186) Patience does not spring from a zen-like place of peace and understanding of all things.  Patience is born when in a moment of frustration one chooses grace instead of anger; patience instead of irritation.

I learned very quickly that I did not have the strength to act patiently when 12 hour work days foster a spirit of frustrated perseverance with a slice of self pity.  Not only was I feeling the normal daily strains of life itself but I would also find myself getting upset that I could not conjure up the love, joy, peace and patience my King called me to.  However, it was when I stumbled on Psalm 118 that I realized I was missing something:  "Give thanks to the Lord for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." Psalm 118:1 (NLT).  I realized I was not supposed to rejoice in the circumstances of my life pleasurable or otherwise,  I am to rejoice in the Lord! For He is good!  

Light bulb!

No wonder I wasn't able to rejoice in my life.  It's not enough.  God is more than enough.  Although the spirit of hopelessness still seeks (and on bad days succeeds) to ensnare my mind in thoughts of self pity, since this realization I have found something to place my hope in.  Not in things of this world but in the goodness of my God who is greater than all the words of every language that seek to describe Him.

"This is the Lord's doing, and it is wonderful to see.  This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:23-24

Prologue

 "As the hart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for You, O God." This psalm reveals a call; a call God puts in all our souls to pursue the plans He has made for each and every one of us.  The most difficult step is to follow after His plan and put our faith in Him. 

My journey towards discovering and following God's plan for my life is just beginning.  During college, I started to think about where I could go and what I could do for God.  After listening and spending time in prayer I started paying attention to the things God had placed on my heart.  I’ve always had a passion for missions; for going out into the world and doing anything I can to help those in need.  I also have a passion for Ireland.  Much of my family’s heritage comes from Ireland and was passed down from mother to mother through the generations.  In my immediate family this has proven true in our love for Irish music.

Even though I still have many doubts about how to pursue God’s call for my life, I’ve decided to start by following after the things God has already put on my heart. 

After much prayer and consideration I applied a few months ago to YWAM in Ireland and was accepted.  I started researching more information on the “Troubles” in Ireland and about how this particular YWAM base has been striving towards reconciliation in this conflict-torn country.  More and more my heart goes out to these people whose need for reconciliation is as serious and great as ever.  I’m eager to learn from the legacy of faith that has grown from the shores of Ireland.  I am excited to see where God will take me on this journey and I know that with His love, strength, and the guidance of His hand nothing is impossible.
             This blog serves as a place where people can check out what I'm up to and where I will continue to post updates about how your support is making possible the things God is crafting for me on this journey.  

               

About the Journey

Who Am I?

I am Maria Nickolay  from the Northern town of Grand Marais, MN.  I have always striven to live a life after God’s own heart.  I consider this mission to be a unique opportunity to focus on growing in my relationship with God  and serving Him.

What Will I Be Doing?

YWAM (Youth With A Mission) is committed to training people to go out in to the world and serve those in need. In the Discipleship Training School I will be attending, I will learn how to be the hands and feet of Christ in a place where there is a great need for the healing power of reconciliation.  This DTS will wrestle with the legacy of conflict in Ireland and issues like apathy, injustice, conflict and poverty around the world.  The knowledge and skills I acquire I will then take on a two-month outreach to one of YWAM’s focus nations, some of which include: Rwanda, Burundi, Israel & the Palestinian Territories, South Africa, India, The Balkans, China, and Ireland.  We will focus on actions and ministry that communicate God’s heart of compassion and justice for the poor, week and marginalized.

Where Will I Be?

I will be in Rostrevor, Ireland. The Christian Renewal Centre, located near the borderline where Northern and Southern Ireland meet, has been a place of reconciliation for Protestants and Catholics alike since 1974.  “In the midst of one of the darkest periods in Ireland’s history, the center became synonymous with reconciliation, prayer, and spiritual renewal.” The center has been renamed “An Cuan” (pronounced “on koo-in”) which is the Irish word for a harbor: a safe place from which many are sent out.

What Can You Do To Help?

Even though I am working three jobs to pay YWAM’s  program costs, I will not be able to cover the entire amount myself.  I will need people who are willing to pray for me and help me financially, partnering with me in reaching out to people all across the world.  Financial costs include: training phase, outreach phase, visas and vaccinations,  and plane tickets  to and from the locations.